Attempt 2 - Quill and Thor Drinking

[st_arlord]

"And another thing -" He continued. "Why is it always the guy's fault when you run out of toilet paper? Girls use toilet paper like, way more than guys do and yet somehow we're always to blame."

He couldn't remember what they had been talking about except they had been talking about women giving them difficult times. Quill down the rest of his drink and presented his empty glass to Thor to fill. Thor told him that he lost last time. Quill had very little memory after talking about Thanos, but he was sure that Thor was equally as drunk. This time he was determined to have the God of Thunder pass out first.

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[st_arlord]

"No, dude, see, that's where you're wrong." Quill replied. "Eggs? The best option is scrambled. You can do a lot with scrambled. Eat them as is, put them in a sandwich, make quiche. And it's like, the only thing trustworthy at most buffets."

I can agree on waffles and bacon, but Thor is dead wrong on eggs.

[st_ormbreaker]

"I forgive your lack of bad judgment," Thor says, clearly unwilling to change his position on any breakfast item, but now, especially eggs.

Thor finishes his drink and sets it down with a hard, audible sound.

SOME TIME LATER

---

"I'm going to get married some day," Thor pronounces, as if he's just made up his mind. "Probably not to Jane, or to Tony, but to someone." Marrying Tony wasn't exactly an option, not when he had someone he was already involved with back home.

Not that that changed much here with regards to the nature of their relationship, but marriage changed things entirely when you were engaged to someone back home.

Even if there was a decent chance their respective timelines would split off, and the Tony back home -- if he had by some miracle survived -- wouldn't remember a thing about their time here.

[st_arlord]

Quill processed the information shared by Thor slowly since Quill was very drunk by this point. His brain new he received some new, shocking information, but it needed time to catch up.

"Wait," he said finally. "Are you... banging your boss?"

[st_ormbreaker]

Thor squares his shoulders, clearly on the defensive.

"He is not my boss," he says. "I am King of Asgard."

A beat.

"But yes, I am banging him."

Thor looks delightfully pleased/proud at this.

[st_arlord]

"Yeah, but... isn't he like... the King of the Avengers?" Quill asked.

He squinted as he thought about Gamora.

"Maybe I'm not one to talk." He added.

Quill's mind continued to think about it. A good question came to his mind in his drunken stupor.

"I guess that means you have all the right dangley bits, huh?" He said with a vague gesture. And they're probably stupidly impressive

[st_ormbreaker]

"Leader of the Avengers, maybe." Thor's willing to concede that Tony might be his boss in that respect. Ultimately, though, Thor was stubborn enough to do what he wanted if he ever disagreed with Tony, orders or not. He'd already literally strangled the man once when he didn't agree with one of Tony's poor decisions.

Probably not one of Thor's best decisions, either.

And to Quill's query about his dangley bits --

"What, are you hoping to see them?"

[st_arlord]

"Uh, no" He replied quickly to Thor. "I have my own, thank you and they are pretty stellar, if I do say so myself."

Quill suppressed a not-so-charming burp.

"And I do," he said. "Say so..... about my junk."

He blinked and reached for his drink which he realized was empty.

"What about my junk in my trunk?" He asked. "Did Gamora say something about my ass before you left?"

Quill shifted on his seat as he tried to look at his own rear-end.

[st_ormbreaker]

"No," Thor says with a look that wordlessly says do you truly think in the midst of everything that was going on we had time to discuss your ass?

Thor refills their drinks again, emptying the bottle.

"I am sure my opinion doesn't matter, but I find your posterior satisfactory."

[st_arlord]

"Satisfactory?" He repeated and then groaned. "Satisfactory is not even the top choice on a MacDonald's survey. It's like, average. No one wants an average butt."

Quill pouted.

"Guess I'm going to have to do more squats at the gym," He said resolutely.

[st_ormbreaker]

"Would you like me to say I'm Very Satisfied?" Thor asks. "I'm not sure why my opinion of your ass matters so much to you, anyway."

[st_arlord]

"It doesn't," He said defensively. "But when you tell another dude his ass is only satisfactory, then it starts to matter. Would you like someone to rate you in bed as 'satisfactory'? I think not!"

[st_ormbreaker]

"Would you rate my ass satisfactory?" Thor counters. He's already confident of his own skills behavior, and the quality and shape of his own ass. Quill can hardly gauge his skill in the bedroom, but at the least, he could assess his butt.

[st_arlord]

"What?" He said defensively.

Quill paused and then he glanced to Thor's rear-end.

"I mean. Maybe. If I was into that sort of thing." He said. "I prefer mine... you know................green."

Quill was thankful to find an excuse to not like Thor's ass too much.

[st_ormbreaker]

"So you would like the Hulk's posterior," Thor says, nodding sagely. He had gotten a good look at it (along with other key pieces of his anatomy) back on Sakaar. "I can see the appeal. It's not entirely bad. A bit massive, a bit muscular maybe. It's good that you know your preferences."

Thor gives Quill a thumbs up.

[st_arlord]

Quill had never seen the Hulk, so he would have to go on Thor's word, but he had a feeling someone named 'The Hulk' would not be his type.

He reached for his drink and drank a large sum of alcohol, and then burped. He had been starting to sway more on the stool as the night progressed.

"You know what I realized?" He said. "Never looked at any of the other Guardian's butts. Is that weird? I mean, except for Drax, but that wasn't by choice."

[st_ormbreaker]

"Probably," Thor says. "I'm looking at everyone's butts all the time."

[st_arlord]

"You are?" He asked. Now I'm going to totally just watch Thor to see him look at other people's asses. Great. "I think I'm more a boob guy."

He furrowed his brow thoughtfully. He thought about it long and hard.

"Yep." He concluded. "Boob guy."

[st_ormbreaker]

"Not a fan of the gun show, then?"

Thor flexes a sleeveless arm for Quill's amusement.

[st_arlord]

"I can do that too, you know." He said with drunken jealousy.

Quill lifted his own arm up. He had a long sleeve shirt on so even if he could compare to Thor, it would be less impressive. While Quill was muscular, he couldn't compare to Thor in many ways.

He flexed his arm.

"See?" He said.

Lifted his arm threw Quill off balance. He wavered on his seat and then started to tumble to the floor.

[st_ormbreaker]

Thor had been watching the man sway for the better part of the last half hour; when he finally careens to one side and begins to tumble, Thor catches him with the same massive arm he'd been flexing a moment before and sets him back down on his feet, like an unsteady toy soldier.

When he pulls his hands away, it's not very far, as if he's expecting that Quill might topple over again. When he doesn't immediately plow over, Thor withdraws his hands entirely.

"I'm cutting you off," he says, directing a finger at Quill.

[st_arlord]

"What?!" He almost shouted in surprise. "You can't do that! This is a contest."

Quill was pouting like a child.

[st_ormbreaker]

"I'm calling the contest off," Thor says, as if he is dealing with a child. "There is no shame in coming in second in a drinking contest against an Asgardian."

[st_arlord]

"I think, tech-ni-ca-lly," he said, working through the long word and then pointing. "YOU lose because you're calling the whole thing off."

[st_ormbreaker]

"I lose," Thor says, clearly not giving a damn about any of this. "Let's get you upstairs and in bed before you die of alcohol poisoning."

[st_arlord]

"Pfft. You wish." He said.

Quill didn't really mean what he said, but a come back felt appropriate.

"I beat Thor!" He shouted triumphantly.

The bar was empty save them, so the victory shout went unnoticed. He spun on the stool and lifted his arms and began falling forward. He caught himself momentarily with his feet. For a few seconds, at least, Quill was upright and standing.